It pisses me off when I get compared to my god sister like size wise. Just because we both lost weight, I appear I be bigger because I’m short. I have short legs and I’m sorry that my fat doesnt stretch out. Like it makes me so annoyed when I get compared when we a different body. Also, it’s not like I haven’t lost any weight. You can’t expect me to lose everything all at once. Plus, even when I lose another 10 lbs, y’all won’t be satisfied still. Nobody ever is happy with my body. Including me.

We’re both so stubborn but I’m always the bigger person to apologize and say that it’s my fault when it’s not. I do all of this because I care about our relationship. I’m not going to be like you and end things when something bad happens. I’m going to work through it because I care enough. I wish you could do the same though.

“A drop in the ocean a change in the weather,
I was praying that you and me might end up together.
It’s like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert,
But I’m holding you closer than most’cause you are my heaven.”

Our whole relationship is so two faced. From my point of view, it’s great and we’re cute but from my friends point of view, things are wrong and you’re using me.

I’m tired of all this bullshit that you put me through. Can’t you just realize that the way I want to live my life is the way I will live it. You can’t expect me to just be all perfect because if you haven’t, I’m not nor do I plan on being perfect. Yes, your guilt trick is semi working but just know, I’m tired already. I’m going to live my life and you can go and complain and try to hold me back but it’s not going to happen.

I’m so annoyed by the way you treat me. You know my past & you know how the past guy took advantage of me but yet you treat me the same. First it’s all nice & lovey dovey but then you treat me like shit now. Oh sorry I have class with you everyday. It’s not my fault that you switched into my class. Ugh seriously man WTF is wrong with you. -__________-” I just want to like punch you in the face or something. 

I feel like Asians are especially rude when it comes to being on the bigger side. Yes I am aware that I’m not stick skinny but pointing it out and saying it in a “nice” way isn’t going to make it any better. I hate those kind of talks. 

How I look on the outside:
 

How I feel on the inside:
 

I’m having a good day and then my mom ruins it for me. When I try to have a conversation with her, we always end up getting mad at each other and just hating on each other. I don’t say my hate out loud but she sure does. She swears and me, calls me names, brings up the past. Ever single time. This is why I can’t even keep up a conversation with her because she just hurts me so much. Ugh, and I have AP Chinese exam tomorrow. Frick

It’s been a while lol

And my whole family is sleeping already. Yeah that’s not normal.

We had to choose a song and break it down for the poetic elements of it so I’ve been staring at song lyrics for the past two hours. Finally choose Skyscraper by Demi Lovato and finally piece-ing everything together. Ugh what a pain.

and I’m stuck at home doing homework. Determined to get half of it done so that I don’t cram on Sunday :)